And the Bride Wore ...

http://www.visi.com/%7Edheaton/bride/the_bride_wore.html
In honor of the torrent of trashy, ad-packed wedding magazines, here's the ultimate collection of wedding attire people couldn't be paid to put on. For the bride, there's the hermetically sealed bridal veil, the "my butt isn't big enough" train and a whole category of missteps called simply "flower abuse". For the groom, the white-striped Pepe Le Pew tuxedo. But the grand prize goes to "Bride of the Mummy," a dark swirl of fabric tightly wound all the way to the bride's face -- or is that her stomach? You decide.

(This was reprinted from my Washington Post column in 1998)
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