Dog Diaper

http://www.dog-diaper.com/
If shaving Sparky into a cute string of pom-poms isn't cruel enough, this invention is sure to destroy every last remnant of his dog dignity. The patented dog diaper fits snugly over the tail and under the crotch to eliminate the need for walks altogether. Of course, it will make your pet the unfortunate recipient of endless canine cruelty and derision. But the added benefit of never having to say "pooper scooper" again is sure to make that a moot point for most.

(This was reprinted from my Washington Post column in 1998)
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